Sometimes, I wonder if I make a difference at all…but I see the faces of people I know who are alive today because of something I did…
Turtle used to call me ‘gentle soul.’ He’d scoop me up in his arms and lift me up off the ground like I was a child. Can’t believe he’s gone… I never told him how much he meant to me. I only realize now what he was to me.
He always believed in me from the first time I danced at the bear dance a dance from my people. What moved me the most about the American Indian ceremonies the first time I encountered them was how one could speak from the heart. People dropped their masks. Many people don’t even realize they are wearing masks underneath the masks they put on. Underneath the invisible mask, they look a lot like me. I’m not so different; I just don’t wear a mask. And that’s endearing and frightening at the same time.
Turtle believed in me before I ever believed in myself. Sometimes, I still don’t. Sometimes, I wonder if I make a difference at all…but I see the faces of people I know who are alive today because of something I did…and, well, how can you deny something that stares you in the face…
I miss the conversation.
