It is the dichotomy of a sensitive…that, whether they enjoy or shun the company of people, they are, nevertheless, constantly in a sea of people’s thoughts, feelings, pain, etc. and, yet, that flow tends to be one-way …thus, intense loneliness comes with the ability, no matter how he/she may appear on the outside.
I’ve just returned from what I’ve called my ‘walkabout:’ three weeks of reconnecting with spiritual and blood family. A lot has happened. Where to begin…? I’m not even sure that I know any better where I stand and where I go from here than before I left for my travels!
As of this particular moment, I would say that the biggest thing I came away from the whole journey has been: learning about my post-cancer body. I feel it is my duty to share so that others experiencing the same or who will be experiencing similar situations can have someone else to refer to and possibly learn from my experience or, at the very least, feel less lonely and more understood.
It is the dichotomy of a sensitive – someone who innately empathizes with others sometimes to the point of losing his/her own identity – that, whether they enjoy or shun the company of people, they are, nevertheless, constantly in a sea of people’s thoughts, feelings, pain, etc. and, yet, that flow tends to be one-way (experience, spiritual training, self-discipline, self-awareness, etc. being key to how one interprets or handles these kinds of information/information overload) …thus, intense loneliness comes with the ability, no matter how he/she may appear on the outside.
At some point, I shall update this post to include links to what others better qualified and more eloquent than me have explained to be the difference between ’empathy’ and ‘sympathy.’
For now, I shall close with this poem I wrote a few years ago, which tries to express this dichotomy of a sensitive:
I belong in all worlds and none
I understand all things and none
I feel all emotions and none
I relate to all thoughts and none
I desire all experiences and none
I move all obstacles and none
I touch all hearts and none
I am loved by all people and none
Lonely is the path
but for the Friend.
© 2014 Emilia Yonge
Writing, being a healer, being a sensitive…these are all isolating while at the same time connecting.